inner peace: a reminder

21/11/16, 9.14pm

nobody said it was easy
but nobody told you it would be this tough either
sometimes, you think you can't hold on
you think you will never get your life back together
you think it'll be better if you just let go
of everything that you've been holding onto all this while
but you're wrong
you're entirely mistaken
for there is always a silver lining behind every cloud
believe in it, even though you can't see it
it's not physical, it's spiritual
it's something you need to have faith in
but before that, have faith in yourself
gain courage in whatever way possible
talk to people
spend more time with positive company
give smiles without expecting any in return
and maybe then, you will realise
that life has got so much more to offer
even when you feel it's being so unfair to you
it's just building you into someone you never knew you could turn into
not a beast
not a monster
but a whole new different person
far more stronger than you once were
and then you'll realise
that you've made it, even though you've crossed your limits

have a little more faith.
build it day by day.
someday, it'll be enough.

close your eyes,
breathe.

distance means nothing

10/6/14, 6.26pm

because when the sun shuts down
there's nothing my mind can envision
with the exception of the light i see
when your eyes brighten and your smile broadens

as time pauses at that moment
i'm sure nothing is as important, as
being with someone giving off a peaceful, positive vibe
in the arms you can safely call home, even when distant

or as the waves crash on the beach
and i feel it caress my two left feet
it's either i hear it whisper softly a familiar name
or it screams and howls all the faults i have made

the heart decides to stop pumping blood
the brain decides to stop generating thoughts
but the soul still recognizes the other saint
the one who was always there, or what you call
a soulmate

the other soul has managed to grow flowers
in the darkest corners of the unbeating heart
and the flowers soon gave off enough vibes
for the heart to continue being alive

though it isn't perfect, it malfunctions sometimes
it still beats as one, with the other
and that is why when one is lost
one still finds the other, in a way or another

never changed

10/2/14, 8.25pm

even when the leaves start falling
and it changes the mesmerizing view
please don't ever doubt
whether i'll still be loving you

for it is something that i'd do
for as long as i breathe, and heave
it doesn't matter if our world is crumbling
it isn't an excuse for either of us to leave

for every second i spend,
without you by my side
the wonderful moments we've shared
will always be playing at the back of my mind
(like a broken record)

those times from months, years ago
are still fresh in my mind
i know that these memories will continue to grow
until they give me shivers
even you don't know

i have loved you all these while
and i will continue to shower you with my love
because you've been the best
and the best is what you deserve

atypical

12/1/14, 10.30pm

roses are red
violets are blue
you are so far away
yet i still love only you

"practice what you preach" -earth

12/1/14, 10.16pm

no matter how bright the sun shines

at noon

at one point in the night,

it will be gone from our sight

no matter how heavily the rain pours onto the ground

on Sunday

at one point soon after,

it will stop, and the rainbow will start peeking at us

don't you see how there will always be

the good in the bad;

and the bad in the good?

even Earth is trying to prove to us that

so why don't we try to do the same?

to always look on the positive side of life

our lives will not be full of worries

we can just live it, not letting our love 

dampen

little things matter more

5/1/14, 12.25am

it really doesn't matter
if we won't have a luxurious life
with all the exquisitely delicious food
and the exceptionally expensive drive

it really doesn't matter
if we have to cook our own breakfast
because i would rather
have a taste of our own efforts

all i want is to be with you
whether rain or shine
i just want to spend the rest of my life
knowing you will always be mine

we don't always have to he happy
for i know that arguments are parts and parcel of love, of relationships
but at the end of the day, i still want the both of us
to be able to close our eyes and go to sleep
(peacefully)

i know that i may appear demanding, sometimes
but in all honesty, all i care about
is your sincerity;
the sincerity of the love you show
for i trust you wouldn't take advantage of me

adaptations

30/12/13, 12.19am

ever wondered how
the birds survive?

whether in the cold, harsh winter
where the snowflakes start to dance freely in the air
or the beautiful, sunny spring
where the flowers start to blossom effortlessly

or the bright, warm-toned autumn
where the leaves gets ready to leave
or the calming, yellow fall
where the leaves finally land gracefully on the ground

the birds always find a way
to make themselves feel at home
they may puff their feathers up to keep warm
they may leave to find another safe place
they may call in more younger birds
or they might just cuddle up in their nests
enjoying the every-changing seasons

we could be like the birds
we could adapt to changes
and still won't fall apart
it might not be easy but i know
we can
we will go through all odds together
so that one day,
one fine day,
we can sit back, and reflect
on the amazing rollercoaster ride
we've been through

we will be able to reminisce everything we did
just like how people go through albums
of pictures
from all the different seasons

my supermoon

19/12/13, 12.02am

i'm sure you noticed
how the moon seems to change its face
every now and then
following the same sequence, the same routine of

many different phases
many different sides
but it stays the same, it's still the same moon
because there's only one, it's the only one

i'm sure you noticed
how the moon shines so brightly at night
even though it's lonely
because

despite all the cities being dark
despite all the people being asleep
it believes it should still stay alive
and continue to shine some brightness in the night
when darkness arise

i'm sure you noticed
how the moon is still quite visible
in broad daylight
though many don't see it
it never fails to check on the living people, things, on Earth

despite being pushed away, forgotten in the day
despite being ignored,
and being accused of following children around at night
i see it everyday
and i hope that i can love it
every night, too

read till the end

16/12/13, 11.49pm

(i) write something for you

before you head to (sleep) every night

because i never want you to forget

how much you mean to me

and i don't ever want to hear you mention

the opposite

i don't ever want you to contradict my words

and say negative things about yourself

because you managed to captivate me

even at the first sight

(because) if you were to be gone

i lose my life, my laugh

my sad, my happy

my butterflies in my stomach,

my soul, my everything

my love for you is sophisticated

and (i) wouldn't (want to) ever let go

of something so worthy and precious

i'll keep holding onto you

(and i hope) you'll do the same

for every second and every minute of my life

i hope to see you happy

(i) hope to see you smile

because your smile (can) brighten up my whole world

it's the ability that only you hold

do you (see) how important you are in my life?

i can never heave a sigh of relief without (you) around

because everytime i'm going through a rough moment

you're the one who gives me comfort

and every night i pray

(in my) favourite sleeping dress

under thick, warm blankets

that i will wake up to see another day

because i know, it's going to be worth it

for me to wait till the day comes

when i'll wake up to see you by my side

instead of just appearing in my (dreams)

however, -

(now read the words in bold)

favourite sound

15/12/13, 4.04pm

i was about to say
that there's no better sound
than the strumming of fresh guitar strings

but then i remember - there's you
the sound of your muffled voice
when you gave me a wake up call and said my name
even if it's under your cold breath

your voice gives me a sense
of sweet melancholy
everytime i miss you
and you're nowhere to be found

and everytime i hear
the voice notes you sent me
it's like i could smell your strong sillage
and your presence lingering around me

and then i start to realise
that the only sound i'd love to hear everyday

is yours

hopes

15/12/13, 2.50am

i hope i will be there
when you shed a bucket of tears
because you were with me
to fight away my fears

i hope i will be there
to comfort you while you're sad
because you were with me
even when i was going mad

i hope i will be there
when you celebrate success
because you were with me
through God's difficult tests

i hope i will be there
when you scream at the top of your lungs
because you were with me
when my heart shattered into crumbs

i just hope i will be there
with you through thick and thin
because you were always with me
and that makes me smile within

you do the opposite

14/12/13, 1.21am

love is when we're both broken

but we still hold onto each other's hands

because no matter what happens

we'll still wait for each other in the end

"to love someone is to make him happy"

so i tried putting your happiness before mine

and that was all that really mattered

it gave me a peaceful mind

"don't put too much hope on someone"

they all simply said

but it's hard for me not to

because it was all i could do, if not i'd be dead

"to be loved is to be the one destroyed"

it's alright, because i know

the only thing you'll destroy are the walls of my heart

you'll get inside and the brightest it will glow

comfort zone

9/12/13, 10.09pm

i made a small home
in the empty corner of your heart
it was where i cried to sleep
it was where i created art

you'll never know what you have until it's gone

8/12/16, 2.56am

i cannot deny
that i'm not the only broken one
for when i look into your eyes
all the happiness is already gone

it seems like you've faded
far away from me, so far away
"where are you going?" i'd ask
i thought you promised that you'd stay

please don't leave me, i had to beg
for you're the only one i want
i seek forgiveness for my mistakes
without you, i feel so empty and blunt

i need you in my life
you're the delicate ray of sunshine
you help me get through
the most difficult times

please come back




please don't go

now we know

6/12/13, 11.55pm

i'm pretty sure, before i met you
my heart didn't know what it needed
but soon after our hearts came across each other
i was certain that you were what i needed

i chose to love only you
that was how confident i was
i decided to neglect everything else
and it was worth it, i suffered no loss

when you asked me to be yours
the one who will be by your side
i was utterly flabbergasted, speechless
all i could do was scream on the inside

do you know how i really felt?
it's like as though the wishes on the star is coming true
people tell me not to believe in such happy endings
but an abundance of flowers in my heart already grew

sometimes i feel like i don't deserve you
because i'm scared i might tear you apart
but nonetheless, i have to believe
that now we hold each other's hearts

i've always dreamed of having a wedding by the beach
it seems so perfect with the caressing waves
i want to have it with you
and be together until we're six foot under

uncertainty in my answers

6/12/13, 3.12am

have you ever felt like there were times where no words could describe exactly, explicitly, how you feel? because it happens to me all the time - when people ask me about you. it's like, i can't find the right words to say, i can't find the right words to describe you. as a person, as a whole. sometimes i'd hesitate to talk about you to some girls, because i'm afraid they might chase you away from me and have you all to themselves but at certain times, i choose to explain every single detail about you - just so they realise how lucky i am to have met someone like you, and to be able to keep you, to call you mine.

i'd tell them about how you managed me at my lowest, hold me in your arms the tightest, light me up with your smile the brightest.. and then i'll look at their gloomy faces, as they recall their memories with their past people, whom they only call 'strangers' now.

time waits for no man

5/12/13, 12.03am

how much more can i agree
to these words that seems so glee
because love is where you flee
together, souls set high and free

but no matter how high we get
we must never ever forget
that our hearts are only set
for each other, like when we first met

and no matter how far we can go
we must be ready for what the future holds
we should achieve our personal goals
and not waste any time, for it is gold

good morning

4/12/13, 5.34am

good morning love,

i hope the bright rays of the morning daylight
shines though the curtains of your window
and lands on your sleepy face
casting a shadow on your pillow

i hope the birds in their nests on the trees
chirp loudly and happily
noticing how they're your wake up call;
i pray you wake up smiling widely

i hope your door would be open
so that you can smell the delicious aroma
of whatever that's cooking in the kitchen
by your lovely mother, the one you call "Mama"

i hope you'll take a glance at your phone
and see my message come through
and i hope you'll realise
how i want the start of the day to be good to you

no words, just perfect

4/12/13, 5.17am

i always feel like
you're too good to be true
but i guess fate has brought us together
that means i am made for you

sometimes i feel like you deserve better
because i'm just another broken soul
i fear tearing you apart
then you'll no longer be whole

once in a while, when i'm left alone
i hear voices of people telling me to go
but no, i have you on my mind
and your voice will then chase them all away

i can't thank you enough
i can't find the right words to say
because you're too good to be true
i don't want you to walk away

wandering eyes

3/12/13, 3.01pm

everytime i'm with you

my heart beats like a stampede

and when you're not around

it feels like i'm incomplete

everytime i look at the rain

i always get reminded of us

because we held each other tight

even when the shelters began to rust

everytime i look at the ocean

i try so hard to feel the waves

because they seem so peaceful

so much like a serenade

everytime i look at the sunset

i reminisce the sweet memories we made

because i hoped and i wished

we could happily celebrate our special days

everytime i look at my palms

i try to imagine yours on mine

for i know my hands were made for you

they just fit perfectly fine

dedication

3/12/13, 2.08pm

please don't ever think
that you're not good enough
because you're all i ever needed
to go through times that seem rough

you were always there for me
i couldn't emphasize any more
you sacrificed your precious time for me
even at times where your own heart felt sore

you cared so much about me
more than anyone else ever did
you're helped me recover
and put a stop to my -

you appreciate the little things
the words i wrote specially for you
because i always feel the need
to always remind you of how much i adore you

love
this may be less than half of what i have to say
because this blooming life
still has to go a long way

but i need to tell you this
you're the blessing i needed in my life
please know that you're way better than "good enough"
and i will always want you in my life

an understatement

2/12/13, 6.49pm

you're so one in a million, that's so cliche

but you're something worth fighting for

i would sacrifice everything

even if it meant surviving a war

your smile warms my heart up

like how the sun heats the Earth

it might even burn some part off

but that's what i'd sacrifice for love

you wrap your arms around my waist

it makes me feel so perfectly secure

from then on, i made up my mind

that i will stay for sure

you shall always, always remember

how much you actually mean to me

your happiness matters more than mine

and you being happy is all that i want to see

another broken one

2/12/13, 6.23am

do you remember me?
i am the angel from your dreams
no, not from your nightmare
i am the angel from your dreams

i came along to prove to you
how worthy you are as a person
because you've taught me true love
and told me to live by a reason

you were tired, people came and went as they liked
you needed someone to remain, someone new
so here i am, on this humble soil
i promise i will appreciate every inch of you

i swear i will be there
lying down right beside you
on every single cold, starry night
when you need someone to talk to

i am the angel from your dreams
i promise to show you the light
with the halo floating right above me

with my winds spread,
you - will take flight

others before self

1/12/13, 1.19am

people keep telling me that whatever i do is for my own good. but no, i'm not doing things for myself. i'm always doing things to make others happy and i'd sacrifice anything just to see them etch even just a smile on their beautiful, humane faces. that makes me feel like a whole. because others' happiness matters more than mine, because others' happiness brings me the joy.

others before self.

gone mad

1/12/13, 10.00pm

on certain nights where i can't sleep
i'd grab my favourite pillow
put it right beside me
and talk to it
stare at it
like as if it was you
because i believe
that even though you're not
physically here with me
you're mentally here with me
spiritually here with me
and by that, i mean
you're always there, you're everywhere
so i'd talk to the pillow
like how i usually do to you
sometimes i'd cry on it
like how i do on your chest
because i truly believe
that you are going to be here for me
whenever i need you
even when you're not exactly where i'd be
you'll always be in my mind
you'll always be in my heart

i've gone mad
but i'm addicted to you
and i need you everyday
every second of my life

just to keep me alive

they were meant to be broken

1/12/13, 1.22am

sometimes i look at our love

as if it's holographic

it reflects and gives of colours

that seem so photogenic

brightly shimmers and sparkles

like the stars in the sky at midnight

even leaving us in perfect awe

how we reminisce memories by the moonlight

i love looking into your eyes

i'd get lost and drown in their iris

and oh, the wild irony

i actually despise getting lost at unknown places

i wish our love will blossom beautifully

as you keep planting flowers in the darkest parts of my soul

even though you'll see the worst of my doings

i'm sure you'll still love me as a whole

please don't worry so much

please don't ever think too much

because i've already promised

and onto the promise i shall clutch

me to you: if you need some encouragement

30/11/13, 8.52pm

taking baby steps
to achieve what you dream
taking baby steps
might not be as easy as it seems

it will be a very long
rough, bumpy ride
but hey
i'll be supporting you, right by your side

obstacles may come
they will push you to your limits
but hey, you need pressure
to see the highest you can hit

talking about limits
you know how they range
sometimes you have to go over it
they say, "only for the better, change"

once again, it might not be easy
but there's no harm in trying
because your best can only be noticed
when you're done reaching

so please keep in mind
that i will be proud of you
no matter what happens
i will still be here for you

never give up because
you're the best
and only the best
deserve the ultimate best

be strong, have faith

it felt like forever

27/11/13, 2.44am

i was gone for only a week
but it felt like forever
i was going to be away

my mind wasn't at ease
i always worry about you
but that's only because
i really loved you

i constantly had you in my mind
it's like you'll never leave
even at the point
where a heavy sigh i'd heave

i kept smelling your scent
for every step that i take
it's like you're following me
for every move that i make

just like the bright moon you see at night..

a letter that never made it

26/11/13, 3.23am

i wish you knew how
i was never once fine
i wish you knew how
just badly i wanted to die

i know you always compliment me
i appreciate you for that
but please try to understand
the way my mind tell me i'm -

i knew i was so glad
when you entered my gloomy life
because from then on
i could finally see the light

darling, i'm so surprised
you managed to stop me from continuing my bad habit
but darling, i'm not surprised
that i'm actually back at it

you could try to fix the broken
but the pieces will never fit the same
because all along, my dear
i knew i was playing a game

a game i've officially lost
because i just wasn't strong enough
but please remember, sweetheart
you've always been good enough

i'm sorry i'm no longer here
i'm sorry i've disappointed you
but my dear, my lover
i will always love you

i will be looking down on you
from the sky, up above
don't forget to look up at the stars and the moon
and keep in heart our true love

please don't cry tonight
for i won't be there to comfort you
please don't follow me
for you were always pulling me through

i'm sorry that you now have to
wake up all alone
but i've written letters for you
since i can't ksis you through the phone

my darling, my love
i promise we'll meet again
because true love is what
someone like you must gain

i'm sorry my darling, because
i know i'm making you cry
i'm sorry my darling, but
this is my final goodbye.

surreal

7/11/13, 11.04pm

i'm i love with the fact that i met you

you've made me realise the meaning of
being truly happy
because that's how i feel when
i'm with you

the wide smiles
the little giggles
the cute laughters we both shared

then i remembered how you said
it's been long since you last had a good laugh
it was then that i felt the need
for me to always be with you
for you to always be with me

think, think, think

7/11/13, 12.56am

do you ever have thoughts

about what will happen to us

in the near future?

because i always do

i don't say anything but i think about us quite a lot

it seems inevitable sometimes

whether is it when i'm in the bus

on the way to school

or while i'm in the shower

singing the songs i heard last night on the radio

while i'm revising for the upcoming exams

while i'm having supper

it's always on my mind

for every minute i breathe

you're the first thing that pops up in my mind

every morning, the minute i wake up

without fail

and

just the thought of you

makes my mornings so much better

because i know there's someone i love

who loves me back

you're the last thing that fades in my mind

every night, without fail

concurrent with the way the sky desaturates

it's an undescribable feeling, i must say

to be able to go deep into dreams

knowing that there's really a human being

that accepts me for who i am 

i don't really remember the last time

i was actually excited to wake up everyday

because i only remember

the mornings i used to dread

the nights i wished i didn't wake up the next morning

but now

i pray that i wake up

i pray that you wake up

so that we'll have many, many days

weeks

months

years

ahead of us

to make memories, and to cherish them

to cherish you

apologies

6/11/13, 9.34pm

i am sorry if i
jumble my words up
stutter while i speak
sometimes i get nervous when i'm with you

i am sorry if i
happen to point that finger
scream in your face
i know you hate it
but sometimes i -

i am sorry if i
do stupid things
have weird imaginations
i know you worry
but i'm trying to keep it all at bay because
you matter more

constant

6/11/13, 4.28am

you linger on my mind
like how the bed sheets outside
were left hung to dry

you're stuck in my mind
like how the cars always come to a halt
during rush hours

you run around in my mind
just like how athletes do
while they train for the upcoming season

you stay in my mind
24/7
the way my old clothes that don't fit anymore
sit nonchalantly in my wardrobe

they will never leave

you
will never leave my mind.

pillar of support

5/11/13, 3.51am

i was always the one
lending you a shoulder to cry on
to weep on
on your worst nights

i was always the one
becoming the punching bag
because you'd always let out your anger and frustrations
on me

i was always the one who sacrificed myself
my ego
i took down my walls
just to carve a beautiful smile on your face

i was always the one
being there for you
even on days where i couldn't be there for myself
even on days where i felt like i needed
to go somewhere far, far away
far from everything

i was always the one
giving you hope
giving you courage
supporting you while you were about to stumble and fall

i ended up losing my own
and tripped on my own untied shoelaces
i fell

because you were always the one
who was never
ever

ever

there for me.

eyes of the river

4/11/13, 11.58pm

cry
because tears were meant to flow
whenever you feel like
you can't take it no more
like you can't hold it in any longer

cry
let it be like River Nile
let it be like the raindrops that never made it in the desert
or those that pitter patter on your window
last Sunday night

cry
like it's your first time ever
like you were just born a minute ago
like you can finally see the light

like you finally have hope

mistaken

4/11/13, 10.41pm

i guess you were blind

you mistook me for a balloon.

it's either that,

or you just can't tell if i was human

because you breathed into me

like i wasn't saved for your last breath

because you tied a string

around my neck

like you treasured me

never wanting to let me go

but you hurt me at the same time

i was choking

it was something you never knew

until one day

you got frustrated

you blew so hard into that balloon

it burst;

you untied the string

it flew into the vast sky

you let go of me, thinking i'd soar up

high and free

little did you know that

it only lasted for a short while.

soon, i lost all energy

i couldn't fly, i couldn't do anything

i was weak, i fell to the ground;

flat,

on the road.

i was run over by the speeding cars

trampled over the noisy birds.

the last thing i knew,

the driver was you.

blame no one but yourself

3/11/13, 11.09pm

once,
a small, jagged-edged leaf
suddenly fell off from a tree
and drifted with the wind

"it wasn't my fault"
it said
for the wind came gushing so hard it
blew me away

for it didn't need a dry, brown leaf
anymore

"it wasn't my fault"
it said
for my owner didn't water me enough
when Summer was scorching bright
when Winter was freezing cold

"it wasn't my fault"
it said
for the branches weren't willing to hold onto me
anymore

"it wasn't my fault"
I said
for i was just a hopeless, useless leaf
that didn't matter much anymore.

reminders

3/11/13, 11.04pm

remember how

you were always so disappointed in yourself

because you think you were such a

failure?

and

i was always there to tell you

that things will be okay,

that you've tried your best?

and

that was all that mattered

because no matter what 

i would always be proud of you

proud of who you are

do you remember?